May 3, 2024
Dare to be Bold!
Push Past Playing Small
Do you hold back from sharing your opinions or feedback because of fear of retaliation or rejection? Do you hide a part of yourself from others so as not to make waves or ruffle anyone’s feathers? Play it safe? Or settle for less than you truly want?
That’s called playing small.
Playing small is when we allow our fears and insecurities to take center stage and call the shots. When we stay in our comfort zone and let those nasty little insecurities take hold of us, they keep us from stepping into our power and shining our light.
I know I have played small, and I only realized it after venturing out as an entrepreneur and starting my own business. Taking on that challenge pushed me to be bold and embrace risks. It exposed parts of me to the world that I had kept quiet and in the shadows for fear of being ridiculed, not taken seriously, and not accepted for my authentic self.
It was easy to do the paperwork and start the company. To ensure I was filing the proper forms and such, the concept of what I wanted to do was clear. I enlisted a terrific marketing and social media firm to help me with my logo and branding and to build my website and online presence.
As the day approached to put myself out there and go live on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn, I began to have doubts.
I was afraid.
My heart was hesitant to let the world know what I was offering. Sure, wellness and life/professional coaching made sense based on my background and experience. However, I also provide medical intuitive services and tarot card readings for spiritual guidance. These are things that I have been doing for many years but never announced widely to coworkers and friends.
I wanted to keep playing small. It felt safer. My negative self-talk began to kick in, and I began to berate myself for offering such silly services. The fear was real, and I felt it in my gut.
Playing small is very common. We all want to be accepted, but we don’t want to be seen as arrogant or offend someone else.
The negative self-talk starts to creep in with those “who do you think you are?’ type of messages. The “I am not worthy” judging voice in our head has the power to deteriorate confidence.
The fear of failure. Of being ridiculed. Of being wrong.
Recently, I’ve spoken with several women entrepreneurs who confess they still struggle with playing small. They are afraid of going all in on their new ventures, holding back on being bold “just yet.” No matter how successful they may be, it’s an internal struggle to pursue more audacious goals “right now.” It feels safer to hide in the shadows.
When a colleague asked me if I was ready to take the next step of hosting a monthly webinar, planning pop-up events, and leading a retreat, I must admit I felt a sense of dread and a sinking feeling in my stomach.
Was it time? Could I really pull this off?
Could I push past my fear zone and be bold?
I must admit it took me a few minutes to process that question. And yes, it was time. It was time to show up as my authentic self.
I was ready to step out of the shadows and shine my light with others.
To dare to be bold.
Yet I was still terrified.
I figured if I was that uncomfortable, it was a sign that this was the right time to play big—the universe was pushing me to face my fears and move forward.
At that moment, I recalled Marianne Williamson’s empowering words from her poem, ‘Our Deepest Fear,’ which encouraged me to embrace my power.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness. That most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world.”
If I could take the risk to shine my light, maybe others would feel more comfortable shining their own. In that instant, my entire being was all in. I was ready to move forward with a few bold and audacious plans for the following year. It was time to let go of playing small.
While I’m not sure what the outcomes will be, I know I’ll learn a tremendous amount on the journey.
On this voyage away from playing small, I will make mistakes, be open to whatever the universe has in store for me, and grow from a personal and professional perspective. After all, isn’t that what the journey is for?
Are you ready to be bold and let go of playing small? Share your thoughts and comments with us below.
Additional Resources and References:
Athey, A., “Stop Playing Small: Embrace Your Inner Power,” Psychology Today,
December 6, 2021, Stop Playing Small: Embrace Your Inner Power | Psychology Today
Cambridge Dictionary, https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/play-small
Williamson, Marianne, “A Return to Love, Reflections on the Principles” from “A Course in Miracles”, HarperOne, 1996.
Ready to break free from playing small and unleash your true potential? Join us for our exclusive Wellbeing Webinar: Dare to Be Bold!
Discover why so many of us settle for less and how to break free from the comfort zone that’s holding you back.
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