June 24, 2024
Do Your Best, Eff the Rest:
Dealing with Haters
Haters gonna hate. It’s that simple. And, let’s face it, there will always be haters.
So, how should you deal with the people who love to bring you down?
The first step is to acknowledge that you must be doing something right. You shine your light and show up as your most powerful, awesome self. People are noticing you for your accomplishments.
So be grateful and keep doing your best.
Haters gonna hate, and it’s not about you at all. It is all about them.
Some people are just negative. They have a negative mindset, and negativity is their natural way of being. They love making disparaging comments or are always looking for something wrong with what you did, said, or created.
Negativity is some people’s M.O. It doesn’t matter how stunning you look, how great the presentation or project was, or that your delicious cake could rival the winner of this year’s spring baking championship; they will always find something negative to say.
Some people feel insecure, jealous, or have low self-esteem, and bringing you down makes them feel better about themselves. When they make you feel small, it gives them the mindset of being more powerful or in control.
According to leading psychologists, this “displacement strategy” helps them deal with their emotions. Studies have shown that people will feel a sense of superiority when they use a displacement strategy with others.
Haters are especially active on social media, where it is all too easy to blast off nasty messages to each other. There is no consequence for unconstructive and discouraging remarks when people can do so anonymously. It is so much easier to be nasty online than to act that way when people are face to face.
Unfortunately, some people don’t want to see you be successful.
Instead of reacting to negative comments or discouraging behavior, ask yourself what gift they can provide for you. Be curious and ask yourself if there are any comments that you can use to improve your performance or results.
Can the criticism be used to identify a personal development opportunity?
If not, you could just laugh. That will certainly throw the naysayer a curveball they didn’t expect. Try using a smile and thank you to bring the energy back and diffuse the situation.
Another tactic is to show the hater some empathy. They must be experiencing some negative emotional issues they are handling by trying to burst your bubble.
Only you can control how you react to the haters. Try to remember that negative people’s attitudes are not personal. As you grow in your self-confidence, own your power, and do super cool things, you will find yourself increasingly in the spotlight.
It’s time to keep doing your best and “eff” the rest. Haters gonna hate.
Never forget that there will be others who will be empowered by you and will find what you accomplished inspirational. There are always positive people who will think you are amazing. Embrace the people who lift you up.
Now, let’s review.
When dealing with negative people, you can laugh, be grateful, and stay curious. Look for the gift or empathize with those who try to tear you down. You can embrace the fact that you are on the right track, getting noticed for your work, and shining your light.
Try to recognize that negativity from others has nothing to do with you, avoid engaging, or simply “shake it off,” as Taylor Swift would say.
Light and love,
Jackie
Try one of the tips above and let us know how it worked for you in the comments below. Are you interested in learning more? Visit our website, www.deleaninstitute.com.
References
Alberts, Susan, “10 Tips for Mindfully Dealing with Judgment and Haters”, September 24, 2019, Psychology Today, www.psychologytoday.com.
Krauss – Whitbourne, Susan, “The Best Way to Handle Someone Who Puts You Down,” Psychology Today, April 13, 2021, www.psychologytoday.com.
Philips-Waller, Steve, “13 Reasons Why People Bring You Down (and How to Deal with Them),” October 13, 2023, A Conscious Rethink, www.aconsciousrethink.com/12254/people-who-put-others-down/.
The Oracles, “How High Achievers handle Haters”, Forbes, August 16, 2018, www.forbes.com.
US Dictionary, “haters gonna hate,” www.usdictionary.com/idioms/haters-gonna-hate/.
