November 20, 2024
Face and Embrace Your Fears
Getting Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable
Have you ever felt an overwhelming, paralyzing sense of fear? The kind of fear that stops you in your tracks and makes it hard to breathe? I experienced that feeling just the other day.
I recently completed my first book, and it was finally ready for proofreading. I was so excited. But with my excitement came a new challenge; deciding the best method to promote, publicize, and market it in collaboration with my publishing firm. The cost for everything would be considerable, and I also had to figure out how to align the work on my new book with my current business marketing and social media support team.
The pressure was overwhelming, and my fear was real. It was time to make some important choices and decide on the best course of action.
My fears of not making the right decisions were crippling. It felt like I was frozen in place, just trying to determine what I should do. It seemed like making no decision was the easiest way to deal with my emotions. But making no decision was in fact — making a decision.
I was also trying to figure out why I was so scared. Was it the financial costs of the publicity and marketing? Was it the fear of making a wrong choice? Was I fighting the fear of failure?
And then, it hit me. Bingo. I had my answer.
I was terrified to fail.
By deciding to proceed with the promotional work, I was making myself visible and vulnerable. I was going to be displayed in the public eye like I had never been before. My friends and family would read my book, and hundreds, if not thousands, of LinkedIn and Facebook acquaintances would see my work.
What if they didn’t like it? What if everyone thought it was subpar work?
Even though I knew my first book was not a literary gem, it was my first attempt at being an author, so I was giving myself a little slack. I wondered if I had not been as vulnerable in the book as I could have been, or if the tone and voice were my own. Perhaps I could have been stronger, more myself.
During my reflection and self-doubt, I began to think about a few things I had read prior to hearing the news regarding moving forward with my book. Gabby Bernstein had posted about inviting fear in to learn and grow.
I had just read another book by Alex Howard, “It’s Not Your Fault.” He also spoke to the need to acknowledge and process one’s fears.
So, I decided to do just that. It was time to face and embrace my fear of failure. I was ready to try and learn from what that fear was attempting to tell me and teach me.
As I noted above, the act of not wanting to decide was a decision in itself. I was making a choice to play small and stay invisible. I was acting as if I should not trust myself, to hold back on using my voice, and to stop sharing my light.
Leaning into my feelings of fear was tough. It brought up emotions and issues from childhood that I still had not fully dealt with. My reflection brought out my inner critic, overflowing with negative self-talk, reminding me that I was not good enough and was a fool to think I could be an author.
Even though logically, I knew these were old and outdated beliefs that were not true, the sensations I felt in my body, and my emotions were not logical. My emotions were real and raw.
Then I decided to just go for it. The time to play small was over. It was time to face and embrace my fears and give myself a hug. I was ready to be big and bold just as I coach others to be.
I was ready to invest in myself and put my work out there for the world to see. The time had come to grow, learn, make mistakes, and adjust.
My book may not be for everyone, but that is okay. Some people may ridicule the book or my writing style, and I may get poor reviews, too.
But what if the opposite happens?
What if I can reach someone who has struggled like me? What if impacting one person in a positive way would be enough? Who knows how things may turn out. No matter what happens, I have learned much through the process.
Fear is never a comfortable feeling to experience, yet being uncomfortable is when we learn the most.
My fear of failure tightened my chest, dropped my stomach, and literally froze me in place until I embraced how I was feeling and asked myself, “Why am I feeling this way?”
To flourish and reach our true potential, we must get comfortable with being uncomfortable.
When fears are at the forefront, stop and take a second to ask yourself, “Why?”
What does your fear represent? What could your fears be bringing up for you that you need to process, face, and embrace?
Fear is a universal emotion. We all feel fear at times, and for good reason. Our brain works hard to keep us safe and sound, away from danger and harm.
In that respect, fear is a good thing.
When fear is imagined, misplaced, or an outdated way of experiencing the world, it is no longer a good emotion. Instead it is a message to pay attention to.
Next time fear rears its ugly head, try to face and embrace it head-on. Examine what is happening in your life that has caused these emotions. What can you learn from your fear?
It’s easy to let fear creep into our lives and keep us from thriving, but imagine what would happen if we got uncomfortable with our fears, thrived, and grew.
In Love and Light
Jackie
Let us know in the comments how you have faced and embraced your fears. For more insights and tools, explore our other blogs and resources right here on the Delean Institute website.
