May 27, 2024
Thriving Through Life’s Transitions,
Personal Development at its Core
For the past four months, I have been able to sleep late, take a yoga class midday, and feel less stressed and overwhelmed. Sounds great, right? It’s been amazing to take better care of myself and reduce my stress level. However, I still feel in limbo.
In this awkward life transition period, I’m letting go of the workaholic, physician executive me for a different me that isn’t yet fully defined.
This week, a phrase popped into my head that sums up my feelings well: “betwixt and between.” Neither one thing nor the other. Yup, that is where I am.
Although I am no longer my old self, who identified as a physician, businesswoman, and leader, I am still determining where I want to be as an entrepreneur, author, and motivational healer. It is unnerving.
As a self-described planner, I always have a daily to-do list with key tasks to complete, work to be done, and steps to get in. That’s why my transition has left me feeling confused. What do I want to do with my time? What is most important to me right now? How do I spend my days doing things that are meaningful for me? When does this transition finish, for fxxking sake?
All the extra time on my hands has led me to research life transitions. We all have them. Some transitions are exciting and wonderful, like having a baby, getting married, graduating from college, or moving to a new city. These are easier to push through because there is a clear reward or prize like a beautiful baby, a fresh start, or a new job with higher pay.
Other transitions are scary and awful, like losing your best friend and lover, losing your job, or a hurricane destroying your home and taking your car out to sea. During these times, you feel awful. You must figure out what’s next and how to move forward.
We all have major life transitions, and we all live through them. What I wanted to discover was how to thrive through them. Yes, thrive. Not just get through it.
To thrive is to flourish, prosper, grow vigorously, or move towards a goal despite the circumstances. I love that, even if it sometimes seems hard or even impossible.
Being able to thrive through a major life transition is an opportunity to grow, learn, and become a wiser and more authentic version of yourself. Thriving through a transition is much better than simply living through it.
When we embrace this mindset, a tough life transition becomes not just a situation to endure but a time for possibility and growth. It can become your own personal hero or heroine’s journey.
What is a hero or heroine’s journey? A hero or heroine’s journey is a literary style used for millennia to tell stories. In this style, a hero or heroine always faces a challenge that they don’t want to face. They meet a mentor or guide who supports them in the face of their challenge, allowing them to face their challenges or fears head-on.
But first, the hero or heroine must head into the unknown and endure a series of tests to overcome their fears. Eventually, the hero or heroine emerges as more knowledgeable, more insightful, and stronger than they ever imagined. In the stories, they are also rewarded for their growth.
So, what is the key to facing your fears and heading into the messy, vast unknown of a major life transition? You take on a few personal tests and challenges. It’s okay to be unsure of what is next or how all this transition stuff will pan out. Trust that everything will be okay.
That is where I am right now—that messy, vast, unknown space.
It is hard, and sometimes I feel like a recluse in hibernation. Then, it dawned on me. That is exactly what I am experiencing. I’m letting go of what was, facing my personal demons, and searching for the next version of me. I’m spending time in that unknown space and facing my fears of not being the old me, of failure, and of becoming irrelevant.
Taking time for reflection. A lot of reflection.
Time for rest.
Time to consider what is important to me and how I want to live my life going forward. Time to study my fears. In the end know I will emerge more than I was.
I will shed my old skin to become a newer and better version of myself. More me. Just like a caterpillar emerges as a butterfly from its cocoon, or a snake sheds its skin as it grows.
It is time for a lot of reflection and rest and to consider what is important to me and how I want to live my life going forward. I’m ready to study my fears and know that in the end, I will emerge more than I was.
I’m more real and vulnerable. It’s kind of scary. Fear is where growth and learning begin—in that odd, confusing space between what was and what will be in the unknown.
You can face your fears head-on or allow them to unfold in a slow, painful way. The choice is up to you. For me, I chose to face the fear head-on, be vulnerable, and be open to whatever might be next. I’m trusting the process so I can grow in it.
Even though I don’t know what will happen next, I do know that I will be wiser, stronger, and a better version of myself in the end.
Share your life transition stories with us. Let us know how you have grown by thriving through transitions rather than just surviving them.
References
Dacher, E., “The Six Stages of a Successful Life Transition,” July 18, 2016, Huffpost.com
Feiler, Bruce, “Feeling Stuck? Five Tips for Managing Life Transitions,” July 16, 2020, nytimes.com
Good Therapy, “Adjusting to Change and Life Transitions,” Goodtherapy.com
